Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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