Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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