bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
