five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My dick has a subreddit
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize