well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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