and my herpes radar will keep us safe
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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