I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
