whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
And then the night went full on bisexual.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
