Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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