Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
