If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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