So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
