Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
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But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
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Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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