i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
