You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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