I skipped work to stalk him.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
even my farts smell like vagina
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
