Don't you send me to vm
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
