that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just googled if crying burns calories
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
