blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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