just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
