I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
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All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
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It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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