May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
