Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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