we're chasing vodka with high fives
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
