i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
