told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
