all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
