Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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