after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
