I like my sex mixed with concussions.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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