when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
