White coat. Heels.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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