I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I understand Curling. That high.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
