He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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