This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize