I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
