Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
