So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
