she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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