I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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