Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
