tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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