my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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