HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
