just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
