dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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