why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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