she looked like the before picture.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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