mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
