The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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