i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
