why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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