i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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