she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
BRING THE BAGELS
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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