Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
