i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
