that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen