Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
