Duck Duck Cougar?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
